Jelly Gets Hands
by many form man
Summary: Hilarity ensues. Implied BXG because that's what the kids are into these days, right?


**(Okay, this was just pure fun. No OCs, just an idea I've had for a while that I just now thought of a great way to pull off. Let the music play!)**  
**--**

The channels rapidly clicked on, then changed to another one as Jelly sat on the couch, bored with life. "Ho hum," he said, bored. Eventually, he reached a channel that had a commercial with an extremely enthusiastic narrator.

"Hey, you!!"

"What?" Jelly queried, flipping to another channel. Coincidentally, this channel was playing the exact same commercial at the exact same time!

"Are you bored?!"

"Yes," Jelly sighed, changing the channel again. The commercial was _also_ playing on this channel, too!!

"Do you want hands?!"

"No." Jelly again changed the channel, and guess what was on?! That's right, the artichoke channel! However, the gelatinous man flipped the channel switch once again, and _this_ channel was playing the commercial!

"YES, YOU DO!!" the narrator bellowed in an authoritative tone.

"Okay," Jelly said rather unenthusiastically.

"Well, now you can have them, with the awesome new game, 'Ultimate Thumb Wrestling War'!" The screen showed two kids playing thumb wrestling, and then an _explosion!_

"And they come with _free hands_!!" The television again showed the kids playing, but this time with the artificial hands, and once a winner was chosen, _lightning_ came out of the winner's thumb and struck the loser!!

Suddenly, the raw power of this momentous occasion hit Jelly when Don Patch came out of nowhere and stabbed Jelly's eye with his thumb!

Don Patch laughed insanely, dressed in a tuxedo and wearing a blue wig before running off into the TV, never to be seen again...

Somehow, though, the screen froze, and resumed just as the happening with Don Patch ended. "_Hands_?" Jelly asked inquisitively.

"Hands!!"

"Hands!" Jelly yelled giddily, clapping his nubs together.

"Hands, hands, hands!!"

"Hands, hands, _hands_!" Jelly laughed, clapping his nubs together at a quicker pace and guffawing stupidly.

"So just get your parents or people more mature than you-" Oddly, upon the narrator reciting that line, the TV showed a picture of Jelly on his knees, pleading to Gasser and Beauty. "to get you _Ultimate Thumb Wrestling War_ today!!"

"I shall!"Jelly exclaimed, saluting and marching out of the room.

--

Gasser was sitting in a comfortable chair- no, chair, you're too good for him!

"Oh, shut up!" Emo Boy demanded.

"Stop calling me that!" Heh heh heh, you wish, emo boy.

Gasser would reply, but I used my writer awesomeness to make Jelly come in the room that exact time. The blue man crawled on all fours to Gasser, whimpering pitifully like a dog. He even had a tail.

"HUUUH?!" Gasser freaked out, but Jelly simply begged, "Gasser, can I get Ultimate Thumb Wrestling War?"

"Ask your mother," Gasser retorted coolly, taking a sip of his soda.

"Okay." He then crawled on his knees to Beauty, who was in the kitchen.

It was then that Gasser realized what he said and spit out the soda he was drinking, nearly choking on it. "Wait, what?!" he cried, his face a deep red.

--

"You're a grown man, Jelly. You can get it with your own money."

"I can?!" Jelly screeched in joy upon hearing Beauty's answer.

"Yeah."

Jelly pulled his trusted Nu handkerchief out of his Jell-o stomach, telling it, "Oh, happy day, my loyal companion!" He skipped off happily to his own devices.

--

As Jelly returned home from his venture into the unknown for the ultimate prize, the _Hands!_, he hummed happily to himself. However, he was stained in blood, the red blood mixing with the blue Jiggler and giving his jelly body a purplish appearance. To get these items, he had to run, jump, and shoot his way through 8 bosses before facing Dr. Wily himself in an epic—oops, wrong media. Got carried away thar.

Regardless, before he could make his way home, he had one more task to take care of...

He rang the doorbell of a mysterious house, located in a scenic location of Hallelujah Land with a beautiful view of the ocean, two stories, and free cable TV. Jelly rang the doorbell again impatiently, and out came a being similar to Don Patch in shape, but green with curly black hair and horns.

Wait, the _Prison Murderer Brothers_ own this place? Dang, how'd they get this nice a set-up?

"Hello?" Haou asked in a sweet voice, apparently unaware of his previous encounter with Jelly.

Jelly's a jerk. Seriously. Without as much as a SIMPLE HELLO, Jelly performed Softon's Eggplant Power move on Haou, screaming, "Jelly power!" As Haou stared in disbelief, Jelly finished, "May nu... punish you." And with that, Haou was mercilessly attacked with an attack I don't have the creativity to describe.

--

Jelly was now back home, sitting next to Gasser on the couch. The television remote was placed on the coffee table in front of the both of them, but every time Gasser reached for it, Jelly slapped his hand away with his _Hands!_ and giggled like a little schoolgirl.

"Jelly, could you please stop doing that?" Emo Boy requested calmly, reaching for the remote.

"NO!!" Robotnik cried, suddenly coming forth from Jelly's left eye! The surprise was so great, that Gasser nearly had a heart attack, fainting on the spot.

"Hey, Robotnik! How ya doin'?" Bobobo burst from Jelly's other eyes, holding a deck of cards.

"I still hate that hedgehog!"

"Me too, buddy... Hey, you up for this week's poker night?"

"You bet!"

--

Bobobo and Robotnik kneeled around the table, waiting for the cards to be distributed.

"Can I play?" Jelly asked, displaying his new _Hands!_ to the duo.

"Hey, you grew a pair, Jelly. Good for you!" Bobobo replied. "Take a seat."

The cards were belched out in three directions through one of those Uno machines.

As each of the trio stared around the room suspiciously, Jelly peered over Robotnik's shoulder, trying to get a peek at his cards, which were all Go Fish cards one would expect a five-year-old to use.

"SnooPING AS usual, I see!" Robotnik yelled, shoving Jelly out of the way.

Bobobo then banged his fist on the table, exclaiming, "I have you all beat with my Kobe Bryant!" as he threw down a basketball card of the said player.

"I have a seven!" Robotnik yelled in reply, throwing down a seven, the seven counted on the card in fish.

Jelly chuckled slyly. "I have you all beat... with this!" Ominous Latin chanting filled the air of the room as Jelly's movements were slowed, almost coming to a still. Robotnik and Bobobo both eyed the spot where the card would land, their vision filled with tensions and nervousness.

Jelly's card_ slammed_ down onto the wooden table, and as the resulting dust cleared, it was revealed to be... a Magikarp Pokémon card!!

Both of Jelly's enemies stared in shock, pointing their fingers and stuttering.

At that time, Beauty came into the room, saying cheerfully, "Guys, dinner is-"

"_YOU HAVE THE LEGENDARY CARD?!_" This shriek came from both of the large men's mouths, resonating throughout the room and nearly giving Beauty a heart attack, also making her faint.

"How dare you hurt Beauty!!" Gaoh angrily yelled, erupting from the Uno machine in all of his blind fury! He punched Jelly straight in the stomach, making a chunk of him fly out at the opposite wall, the jelly man screaming in pain the whole while.

"Congrats, little buddy! You have learned the Jelly Jiggler Magnum Shot." As Bobobo said this, he handed Gaoh a medal, gold in color and its emblem resembling Jelly's battered and bruised face.

"Aw, thanks, Bobobo," Gaoh commented, blushing fakely and twiddling his fingers playfully.

The force was so great, in fact, Jelly's _Hands!_ spontaneously fell off!

"Noooooooooooooooooo...!" Jelly cried for multiple minutes, Darth Vader coming by the house after a few minutes of screaming and deciding to join him.

"Noooooooooooooooooo...!" the duo screamed for multiple hours.

**--  
(I honestly believe this work is one of my best. Not my place to say, though! That's where you come in! Reviews are highly appreciated!)**


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